April 2012

I was very surprised on Monday to come home from work and find out that my adorable husband bought us tickets to DMB on Friday Sept. 7th in Chula Vista, California!!!! I LOVE Dave Matthews Band. They are definitely one of my favorites. I have been REALLY wanting to see them again with Kade but we could never afford to go the last couple of times they went on tour. I was shocked since we just booked Maui! It's so crazy and unlike us. Just a side note here: we NEVER could afford anything like this when we first got married or when we were living together before that. We barely got by and rarely even had money for date night! So don't be jealous of us... we have had to work very hard to get where we are now. We justify spoiling ourselves so much this year because we hope to have a baby soon, and we know that after that we won't have the freedom or money to do the things we want to do now. Thus the spoiling continues.

 I was so excited I almost peed my pants... for realzies.

I also got some freaking awesome eyelash extensions from Jodi. She is great! I heard about her from the Lovely Little Snippets Blog. Thanks Stefanie! I got them done for $35!!! Killer deal.

Right after I got them done. I am wearing NO makeup in this photo. It is SOOO nice because she puts them on really thick so it looks like you are wearing eyeliner and mascara, but you aren't! I can't tell you how easy it is to just get up and go in the mornings and not have to fuss over my eye makeup too much. Plus Kade loves them.... he thinks they are sexy... bonus!  

This is with my make up on. I just put mascara on the bottom lashes (NONE ON TOP!) and a little eyeliner on bottom and in the inner corners of my eyes. I don't think I will ever go back to regular. They are amazing! Get some! I have had a ton of compliments on them. 

I have gotten lots of flowers this week...

 These were given to me on Tuesday from one of my darling students. She comes in my room every single morning and we talk about stuff and she helps me get ready for the day. She picked them from her mom's garden. I told her thank you and that she probably shouldn't pick anymore unless it's okay with her mom. Haha. 

Then the next day she brought these in...

I about died! It was a BIG bouquet! She even tied them with a black ribbon this time. The ones from the day before died since I didn't put them in water, so I made sure I put these in some asap. How freaking cute?

Haha, I hope she didn't get in trouble for picking all of these flowers!!

Then on Thursday Kade sent me this pic...

The text said "For you my love. A field of your favorite flowers."

Yes - dandelions are one of my favorite flowers.

Yes I know they are a weed.

Kade has always made fun of me for it but I don't care.

I have loved them since I was a little girl.

I remember one Mother's Day when I was little, Britt, Em and I went walking around the neighborhood and picked random flowers for my Mom from people's yards! Haha. I also remember another year on her birthday, Em and I picked a HUGE bouquet of dandelions for my Mom. It took a long time for us to find them all. She loved it.

In high school Kade picked a ton for me and hot glued them on a big poster board and spelled out I Love You and left it in my car.

Anyway - the point is I love dandelions :)

In baby making news:

I ovulated again last Saturday! We were very excited! We probably wouldn't have left the house all weekend but we went over to my parent's house for my Dad's 55th birthday on Sunday. We grilled hamburgers and had cheesecake. It was fun. Brittney made us our very own cheesecake to wish us luck! Lol! Sorry if this offends anyone! It is explicit.

I laughed so hard. It made my week. She is the best.

I had my doctor's appointment on Thursday. It sucked. I think I'm going to switch doctors.

I left the place bawling so hard I couldn't breathe. My doc told me to stay on the Clomid. He wants me to ovulate 4 times on it before we switch the plan. That was fine. I totally understand that. It is working, so I should stay on it. It is just WAY painful, but if it gets me pregnant... I'll do it. I feel like I would do anything right now if it resulted in a baby. I hate feeling so desperate. SO not me. Anyway - what made me so upset was when I was telling him about last time and all of the pain and blood and stuff, he told me that I "probably had a miscarriage." My stomach fell to the floor and I felt the blood drain from my face. I wasn't sure if I heard that right. He said it so matter-of-factly, like the way you would say "I had cereal for breakfast."

I freaked.

He then said that he didn't know for sure, since he didn't see me because it was Easter but it really sounds like it to him.

I still freaked. Panicked, actually.

It took all of my self control to not burst out of the room, run down the hall, book it outside and scream obscenities at the top of my lungs.

I didn't for the record... just sat there in disbelief. 

Why tell me that? Why? Why freak someone out about something that you don't know for sure? I don't know. I'm glad Kade was with me that time because I don't think I could have survived that alone.

Thanks a million for putting that thought in my head, Doc.

I can't even stand the fact that it is a maybe now... actually it's worse than a maybe. It is a probably.

Probably? What does that even mean?

I can't sleep. It just keeps stewing around in my head.

Probably?

So for now I am staying on Clomid until I ovulate 2 more times or if I somehow get preggo.

We are keeping a positive attitude as best as we can, but it has been SO hard.
I don't think people realize.

I have to keep reminding myself to be grateful and to be strong.

Until next time....